The Values in Ideas
I was having a conversation with a wonderful friend of mine today about ideas and values, and after we parted he asked me if I had anything written about the topic. I didn't then, but I will now!
A couple of days ago I was sharing with Rick that I feel so deeply connected to others when we get to brainstorm ideas together. When we get to say "what if things were this way?" or "wouldn't it be so cool if..." and we let ourselves imagine possibility without restriction. When just for a short time, we set aside practicalities and riff on possibility. I love these types of conversations because they give me a glimpse into the depths of the other person. Into what lights them up, into what fills them with inspiration or hope or possibility. Sharing this sort of back and forth egging on of possibility feels like a direct line to "seeing" another (or myself, really) with clarity.
Since then I've been thinking about "ideas" as expressions of a person's uniqueness. When I say "ideas" I'm speaking fairly specifically here to "things we might want to create" or "things that don't exist now that we wish could exist".
I'm delineating ideas from thoughts, with thoughts being the mental chatter that fills our brains, and ideas being the inspiration we're pulled toward, or the creativity that beckons us.
Aside from some basic wants and desires that we all share, I think it's fair to say that we humans bring a wide range of ideas to the table. And I think often, those ideas reflect something unique about us, or at the very least they offer a glimpse into our inner-worlds, into the things we value.
But what I'm going to propose next, is that sometimes our ideas actually lead to restriction and inaction instead of leading to expansion and possibility.
For this next part, I'll need to parse out an "idea" into two components:
The values that underly the idea
The physical manifestation of the idea in the world
For example, I might have an idea to create a chocolate cake. The values that underly this idea might be a soft spot for chocolate and an enjoyment of baking. The physical manifestation of the idea in the world might involve going to the grocery store to get ingredients, carving out time in my day, and making sure I have all the necessary tools.
Or, I might have an idea that I want to create and participate in an intentional living community where many people come together to share the responsibilities of growing food, caring for each other and the land, obtaining resources, and fostering creativity. Some of the values that underly this idea would be deep connection, sharing of resources, and prioritizing community. The physical manifestation of this idea in the world might involve saving money to buy a plot of land, finding like-minded people to participate, and years of trial and error in creating new forms of community. and relating.
Since these ideas are mine, I know that they shed light on something about me. I know that the values that underly the ideas are my own.
(We could get into a whole other conversation about how sometimes we adopt value systems from our families, cultures, societies, etc. that don't reflect our own inner-compass, but that's a topic for another day. For now we'll assume that the work to clear space for our own inner-knowing and awareness has been done, and we're able to see past the value systems that might have gotten lodged inside of us but aren't truly ours.)
It is very idyllic and hopeful to encourage each other to chase after our ideas. We often cheer each other on, especially after landing on a Big Idea, and we do everything we can to make ourselves and each other feel empowered and capable. We often shape our lives around ideas, around efforting to create careers or relationships or hobbies that answer our inner calling.
But I think this chasing of ideas sometimes leads to restriction of possibility, instead of expansion.
I think sometimes we get stuck on the physical manifestation piece. We have an idea or a vision, we know that it fills us with excitement and possibility, we know that it makes us feel alive, we know that it makes us feel filled with purpose, and so we move straight to the "how do I make this happen?" journey. Because of course we want to move toward our own aliveness. Taking concrete steps is the quickest way, right?
And so we look around at our current circumstances and assess whether or not they are suitable and supportive of accomplishing the idea. We likely conclude that they aren't. We check if we have adequate resources like time, money, and community support. We very likely conclude that we don't.
If we're brave, we push forward anyway, telling ourselves that we can adjust our circumstances and find the resources necessary. After all, the Big Idea is a life raft to aliveness. It will be worth it.
But I think this is where we get stuck in rigidity and constriction. We focus so heavily on the physical manifestation, and consequently on the barriers that are inherently present (because, life), that we start to calcify ourselves into a belief that "I will only be successful if this happens the way I imagined it". And further, we might start to calcify ourselves into a belief that "I'll be a failure if I can't figure this out."
What I think we sometimes miss in the "how do I make this happen?" journey is the opportunity to focus on the values that underly the idea. This focusing on values is quieter and slower work. There is less to show for it. Sometimes there may be nothing to show for it at all, to an external eye.
But by giving space to the values underneath an idea, we are doing the work of stoking our own inner flame. We're acknowledging what specific type of fuel keeps us going. We're taking the time to understand what we need to feel nourished and alive.
And I would further propose that if we have a clear understanding of these values, we start to notice opportunities to live into them in places we might not have expected. In places that might not have shown up in our original Big Idea. With a clear understanding of our values, we start to open up to infinite vessels of possibility, rather than just the single image we started out with.
Let's go back to the intentional living community example. After arriving at this Big Idea, I probably feel elated. I feel like I know a sure route to fulfillment. I probably start brainstorming how I might physically manifest this idea into the world, which might involve logistics that make my head spin.
After thinking about logistics, I might feel defeated. Or on the contrary, I might feel urgency to take concrete action of a very specific kind. Either way, I'll likely box myself in. The possibilities that I perceive will likely be binary and linear. I'll either see the ways I can't do it because of barriers x, y, and z or I'll see the ways I must do it following steps x, y, and z.
What we less often do is make space and time to listen inward and figure out the values that underly the idea. If I do this, I might hear that the values are deep connection with people and the earth, prioritizing creativity, fostering community and resilience, supporting healing, etc.
By understanding the values that light me up, I might start to notice opportunities to deepen connection and foster creativity in places I wasn't looking before, in places that didn't exist in my original Big Idea.
And with this self understanding of the values underneath that idea, I have freedom. The values live on inside of me regardless of whether or not the physical manifestation comes to be exactly how I hoped. The values can take infinite forms of expression, including ones I can't even imagine. The values are sourced from my inner-fire, from the spark of aliveness that is always with me.
Approaching ideas this way means that sometimes it requires letting go of how you thought something would turn out. It is humbling, and very often painful. Sometimes it requires walking away from a specific physical manifestation with nothing to show for it except a deeper understanding of your own values, of what lights you up, of what brings you a feeling of aliveness.
I'm not proposing that we never take action toward physically manifesting our ideas into the world. Quite the opposite. I'm proposing that we take the time to understand our own values so that the action we do take is filled with freedom, infinite possibility, and a direct line to our own aliveness. I'm proposing that this a route to wonder, awe, and gratitude, to feeling surprised and supported, to living into our expansive potential with less self-inflicted restriction.
After all, if ideas are expressions of our own uniqueness, what better gift to share with the world than dedicating our lives to embodying the possibilities we imagine?
If you've read this far, thank you. Tell me your thoughts! I truly would be honored to hear them.